Ask
by ColorlessCrayons
Summary: Ask a question, any question, to the members of the Varia. May their secrets be revealed. 90 answered so far, updated daily.
1. Default Chapter

After realizing that they have no official job after being an actor of the show Reborn, the Varia went job hunting and ended up being babysitters. The job did not go so well, however, as the toddlers picked up words such as 'trash' and 'shit' from the infamous Xanxus, and were taught how to use little plastic knives to scare their parents by Bel.

Needless to say, all of the members were fired after three days, and Levi shaved his head and donated it to Locks of Love to pay for their bus fare home.

As the five core members of Varia went through depression and insomnia, they discovered that a company named WcDonald's that pays them for answering questions, just like those scam sites on the internet. They resorted to this as their last choice, and hope to get some money out of this.

Now, it's up to you readers to decide if they should abandon their nice little castle in the middle of nowhere and go live on the streets like Gokudera, or send them some questions so that WcDonald's can pay them.

Just send in a review with your name, question, and who you would like to ask within the Varia, and it will be answered by your desired member the following day.

So let me ask you this: what would you like to know?

* * *

**AN:**

KHR is obviously not owned by me.


	2. Set One

**AN:**

Nice! Eight questions asked in a day, not bad! Not bad at all! Thank you Carrie, Danielle, and Sannin-Sango for preventing the Varia from living in the sewers. I bet they appreciate it!

* * *

Here is a question from Carrie: 'Oh! I have a question for Mammon! What is your room like? Any teddy bears and things like that?? Do you like  
others going in your room?'

Mammon: As an illusionist, I do not necessarily need a fancy room since I can simply create one out of illusions. It is a waste of money buying all the furniture. I have no teddy bears or any toys like that; but I am pretty sure to say that if anyone has it, it would be Bel, but he only have the ones with their heads ripped off. As for your last question, no, I do not like anyone going in my room. Rooms are personal spaces where individuals can actually have some peace.

* * *

From Danielle:

To Bel: What's the color of your eyes? And what would I do the V (pokes both eyes with both fingers) on you?

Bel: Ishishishishi, the prince's eyes are of course, a princely color. But since WcDonald's is paying me for this, I'll tell you, a peasant, what they are. They're light blue, passed down from my father. Rasiel had green, and that proves that he is not fit for the king, ishishishishi. The prince does not understand the second question, but if the peasant dares to poke the prince's eyes, the prince will chop up your fingers, ishishishishi.

* * *

From Danielle:

To Mammon: Can I have a hug? If no…-glomps anyways-

Mammon: No. Nothing is free. However, if you do want to pay, it would be the price of an A rank mission. The price would vary depending on how many seconds you want to hold on. –dodges the glomp-

* * *

From Danielle:

To Levi: You have bags under your eyes (even before bankruptcy, why's that?)

Levi: You will never understand the woe of a good man! Squalo is currently the bosses favorite, that stupid prince is considered Varia's genius, Mammon is the Arcobaleno's strongest illusionist, Lussuria is looked up as the 'big sister' of the Varia, and Fran is getting attention just because he is new. But what does that make me? All I got from them are insults saying that I am ugly and makeover advices from Lussuria. Because of that, I have been staying up for nights and trained hard when everyone is sleeping to hear the 'Good job, Levi' from the boss just like the old times.

* * *

From Sannin-Sango:

To Bel: Why the hell do you laugh like you do? And don't give me that 'because I'm a prince.' BS.

Bel: Ishishishishi, because I am a prince.

Mammon smacks him on the head and scolded him to be more serious.

Bel: Ishishishishi, the truth is, when we started filming Reborn, the prince was going to go with 'fufufufufu', but it was taken by that Mukuro person, and it was a choice between this or 'Bwahahahahaha', which is very un-princely.

* * *

From Sannin-Sango:

To Lussuria: Why do you always wear sunglasses and will you please take them off?

Lussuria: Why hello honey~ Thank you for asking me question! As for your answer, it's the same reason why Mammon-dear and Bel-dear hide their eyes as well~ You see, _someone_ in the Varia is too ugly for our sensitive eyes, and without proper protection, our eyes will be blinded for quite a while~ And take them off? No, sorry honey~ I'm too used to wearing them~ See you!

* * *

From Sannin-Sango:

To Mammon: What gender are you? –has been bothering her like forever-

Mammon: -sighs- Male, definitely male. Go look for our producer's newly made Arcobaleno card set if you don't believe my words.

* * *

From Sannin-Sango:

To Levi: Everyone hates you, including me. Why do you think that is?

Levi: The answer is simple. You haters are all jealous of my handsome figure and beautiful hairstyle. And my umbrellas. And I'm sure you don't hate me, young kids these days are always in denial. In everyone's heart, there is always room for Levi.

* * *

**AN:**

Haha, done with the eight questions. Again, thank you for asking, and feel free to ask more questions!


	3. Set Two

**AN:**

WOAH! Twenty-seven question asked! That's more than three times more than yesterdays! Thanks for asking, and keep those questions coming!

* * *

**From Sam:**

To Levi: No, no you're not handsome at all. In fact my friend today actually wants to shove you in Gola Mosca, you're more hated than Sasuke from Naruto now. Be proud! Still now onto and actual question...Why the heck do you have umbrellas for a  
weapon?

Levi: …I-I am not handsome?! But my mom always told me that I was a very special person, just like everyone else! Naw-roo-toh? Why is everyone on that show a ninja? And no, I refuse to go in that…thing! It is even uglier than me! For your question, the reason why I have umbrellas for a weapon is because umbrellas are very manly. 'It is a factor that every man must have', as quoted from the _Manly Man Manuel for Men_. It is also a good ways to pick up girls.

* * *

**From Sam:** AT LAST THE GENDER QUESTION HAS BEEN ANSWERED!! -was always hoping Mammon was a boy- Still my question/request is, will you please take off you're hood? I'll pay you~!

Mammon: I don't see why everyone is so shocked to learn my gender. Mu. Take off my hood? That would be the price of an S ranked mission. Deposit it by tomorrow in my band account.

The illusionist removes his hood and reveals a face of a boy in his late teenage years, probably eighteen or nineteen, with two triangular tattoos on his cheeks. His hair was dyed a deep violet, and was edgy and spiky and bangs that slanted towards the left side. He frowned and blinked for a few seconds, his golden eyes uncomfortable under the foreign light. He stared into space for a few seconds before pulling on of his hood again.

Mammon: I will be waiting for your payment now.

* * *

**From Sam: **

To Bel: ~Curses under her breath~ I was hoping for some big long physiological reason -always thinks there some mental reason behind Bel's and Mukuro's laugh- Still, how many tiara's do you have, like, do you have one for like every day of the year or something?

Bel: Ishishishishi, the prince is happy that he had disappointed a commoner. The prince has one real tiara passed down from his kingdom, and the rest, all eight hundred and seventy-five of them, are given to me by fan girls _and_ fan boys. The prince wears those when he is on missions, so he doesn't the real tiara dirty, Ishishishishi.

Fran: Bel-senpai, don't forget to mention the one from Levi. Why don't you ever wear it?

Bel: The prince would rather die than to wear that thing!

Fran: Want me to take care of that wish for you?

Bel: -flings a fan of knives onto Fran's back-

* * *

**From Sam:**

To Squalo: Can I PLEASE, pretty please with a pineapple on top braid your hair~?

Squalo: VOOOOOOOIIIII! Finally a question for me! And I have to say that I _hate_ pineapples! No, you may _not_ braid my hair! Last time when Bel did it, that idiot used superglue and I had to deal with the humiliation for weeks until a new formula that dissolves superglue from Italy arrived!

* * *

**From Kelly:**

To Bel: Bel, rank the members of the Varia in order from favorite to least favorite, and explain why.

Bel: Ishishishishi, there are no favorites in the prince's eyes because they are all peasants. But here is the ranking if you want it so much:

Boss: Ishishishishi, only because he is boss, and that he will result to violence if he is not on the top.

Mammon – Quiet, not annoying, not ugly like Levi, actually is interesting, buys the prince sushi

Squalo – has long hair that the prince can braid, but very loud

Lussuria – Always tries to convince the prince to go shopping to with, but has wonderful baking skills

Fran – Annoying frog. Can't keep his mouth shut. Likes breaking the prince's knives.

Levi – Go be ugly somewhere else

* * *

**From Hone-Onna Killed Ren**

To Mammon: If you had to choose, would you rather Luche/Aria/Uni or  
Xanxus?

Mammon: Following Luche would definitely mean a lower chance of dying. However, I don't want anything to do with the rest of the Arcobalenos, even when the Varia is sometimes a pain. I would probably end up getting more money in the Varia anyway, so Xanxus it is.

* * *

**From: Crystal**

To everyone in the Varia: If you guys are girls and had to date any guy character in Katekyo Hitman Reborn, (they could be their 10 years later self or normal selves) who would it be? And why?

Xanxus: Not interested in dating.

Squalo: VOIIIIIII! What kind of question is that?! But if I had to chose, it'd be the baseball kid, so I can teach him a thing or two about the sword.

Mammon: Probably Bel. Because he has a lot of money left over from his kingdom.

Bel: Ishishishishi~ The prince is too good for lowly peasants. If I had to choose one, then the bomb kid so I can piss him off, ishishishishi~

Lussuria: Ohhhh~ Ryohei! Definitely Ryohei~ He has such a nice body!

Levi: I'd date anyone who wants to date me.

Fran: Ah, anyone who can do cool poses and isn't an conceited bastard like Bel-senpai over there.

* * *

**From: Crystal**

To everyone in the Varia: Do you guys have special nicknames for each other? If so, then what is it? And why?

Xanxus: I call everyone 'trash' because they are.

Mammon: Belphegor is 'Bel' because it's easier.

Bel: Levi is Mr. Ugly for obvious reasons, and froggy is 'un-cute kohai'.

Fran: Bel-senpai you fake prince, have you considered looking in the mirror before you call me 'un-cute'?

Bel: Shut, froggie. And also, Xanxus is 'daddy', and Squalo is 'mommy'.

Squalo: VOIIII! I never agreed to that!

Lussuria: Ohhhh~ That suits them! And I'm of course 'big sister'~

* * *

**From Crystal:**

To Squalo: What do you use for your hair? Do you think you'll ever going to cut it?

Squalo: My hair products are a secret!

Bel: It's Aussie's Three Minute Miracle. –holds up the bottle-

Squalo: VOIIII! Don't go looking around my room, you brat!

Bel: The prince would never go look in a peasant's room. Your two ton delivery was shipped here today.

Squalo: Anyway, second question. I will cut it…eventually when Xanxus becomes the next Vongola boss.

Fran: Chances of that is as likely as Hell freezes over.

* * *

**From Crystal:**

To Bel: Why do you hate your brother so much (haha your brother was pretty weird and he couldn't do your laugh right!)?

Bel: Complicated. Twins born into the royal family is considered a curse. One must be eliminated, and by death. I did not hate him as much as I hated myself for being born a twin; we are merely the same soul born into two bodies. He wasn't 'weird' much, and the reason why he can't do my laugh is because he simply isn't me, and that makes me feel a little better about myself, I guess.

* * *

**From: Crystal**

To Xanxus: I realized that if you switch your name it would be 'suxnax' and if you take the X's out it would be 'suna', then you add a T to the beginning, it would be Tsuna. How did you and the other Varia members react to that? Your name is close to Tsuna's name.

Xanxus: If you take Squalo's name and look at it closely, it will say 'trash'.

Squalo: VOIIII! Why am I always the one who gets blamed?!

Fran: -no reaction-

Mammon: -in deep thought-

Lussuria: Wahhh~ Boss, that is so cool~ Why don't we invite the boy over and celebrate? I can do the designing~

Bel: If you mix up Levi's name, it would spell 'vile', and he is.

Levi: …

* * *

**From: Starr-x3**

To Xanxus: Why do you only throw things at Squalo, and refusing to physically attack him?

Xanxus: With a trash like him, one hit from me and he is done for.

* * *

**From: BabyBell**

To Bel: Exactly which country did your family rule? What if your twin Rasiel was born a girl?

Bel: My country was dominated by another a month or two after I left, so even if the prince tell you, you wouldn't know. Ishishishishi, the prince honestly can not imagine that cockroach as a girl. He eats like a pig and snores like a drunk man. But if he was born a girl, then we wouldn't fight as much since the prince will eventually be king.

* * *

**From: BabyBell**

To Levi: Seems like I'm the only one who likes you here, so what kind of person do u think I am? One more, does the Levi's brand have anything to do with you?

Levi: Ah, another fan to the Levi Fan Club. You must be either a charming young lady fit for a handsome and dependable man like me, or a desperate girl trying to date a character from a show. Either way, you are much more nicer than everyone else who asked me a question so far. For your second question, Levi's brand is owned by my dad, as I am the illegitimate son of Chuck Norris.

* * *

**From: rebornluver93**

To Mammon: Why are you so darn greedy?

Mammon: Bel said I needed a hobby besides killing people. Apparently, killing people is his hobby, and with this 'because I am a prince, I have to have dibs on the hobby of killing people' bullshit, I took up the hobby of collecting money. At least it's more useful than having dead bodies lying around.

* * *

**From rebornluver93:**

To Fran: How in the hell are you still alive, after getting stabbed by Bel thousands of times (It's not like it is an illusion or anything, right)?

Fran: Ah. My profile is top secret. But what I _can_ tell you is that that fake prince's fighting skill suck, his knives are not made out of silver and fairy-dust, he has no cool poses, and he likes to play dress up in his room when no one is around.

Bel: You stupid frog! –throws a handful of knives-

Fran rolled his eyes and replied in his monotone voice. "Ouch, that hurts, senpai."

* * *

**From rebornluver93:**

To Bel: Why do you enjoy stabbing Fran so many times?

Bel: Ishishishishi, because he is an annoying un-cute froggy who replaced Mammon. And because I needed another target after the boss broke mine.

* * *

**From rebornluver93:**

To Lussuria: Are you really gay? And if you are, how did you become gay?

Lussuria: Wahhh~ Do I really seem gay to you?

* * *

**From rebornluver93:**

To Xanxus: At what age did you start drinking (please don't kill me)?

Xanxus: That crazy old man who brought me up offered me a drink at age seven. Trash.

* * *

**From rebornluver93:**

To Squalo: Why in the hell are you so darn loud (please don't scream in my ear)?

Squalo: VOIIIIIIII! Because when you are in a place like the Varia, you have to be loud to make your point! The boss ignores everyone, everything you say nicely to Bel goes in one ear and out the other, Mammon doesn't care about anything except for money, Lussuria is always daydreaming about things I don't want to know, and no one cares about Levi, he isn't important.

* * *

**From: xwee**

To Bel: Why do you hate Rasiel so much?

Bel: I think I already answered this earlier, but another factor is that he took the prince's hair straightened when we filmed the future arc together. That's why my hair flipped up when his was all straight.

* * *

**From: xwee:**

To Levi: Where did you get your umbrellas?

Levi: Did you know that Rihanna owns a private umbrella store in Peru?

* * *

**From: xwee:**

To Mammon: How do you because an illusionist?

Mammon: First of all, you have to have the gift of the mist flame. If you don't have it know, don't go bother looking for it. Second of all, not all illusionists started with illusions. I started as a magician and went around kingdoms to perform during banquets and ceremonies, and eventually discovered illusions.

* * *

**From: xwee**

To Squalo: Can I braid your hair? :D

Squalo: NO!

* * *

**From: xwee:**

To Lussuria: Who's your hairdresser?

Lussuria: Bel-dear and Mammon-dear. As kids, we played truth and dare a lot, and Squalo dared them to put sleeping pills in my drink and give me a haircut. Since none of them know how to properly cut hair, Mammon-dear accidentally shaved off most of my hair, and Bel-dear dyed it to make it look better~ I stuck with it over the years because I was so used to it~

* * *

**From: xwee:**

To Xanxus: Why do you abuse Squalo?

Xanxus: That piece of trash doesn't deserve to live.

* * *

**From: Kittie**

To Mammon: Mammon, can I kiss you?? You're so adorable! And why don't you marry some rich bitch for money? (Like Bel) hehehe...

Mammon: No. You may not marry, hug, tackle, hold hands, or perform any other forms of affection on me either. …Marry Bel? That's…

Bel: -turns pink-

Mammon: -clears his throat- Anyway, not interested in dating or marriage. As an actor in a famous show, if I do date anyone or go as far as marrying that person, the fan girls will kill that person, or me, or both of us.

* * *

**AN:**

Now, the Varia is almost rich enough to buy a pound of bread every two weeks. See how much you are helping them?


	4. Set Three

**

* * *

**

AN:

Awesome! Thirty-three more questions! The Varia had upgraded to white bread instead of corn-bread.

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

Xanxus: Would you please like meow like once for me? You always remind me of a cute little domestic house cat for some reason...

Xanxus: You dare saying that in front of my face, woman, and you are dead.

Squalo: He says 'no'.

* * *

**From Sannin-Sango**

To Mammon: I have deposited the money and thank you for the removing of the hood. Now onto my next question, what do you think of the oh so somewhat loveable froggy, Fran?

Mammon: -grumbles and counts the money- I'm never taking off my hood again. I don't like that kid that much. Something is weird about him, and I don't think he likes us very much either. And he is always with Bel. –more grumbles-

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango:**

To Fran and Bel: So how do you two feel about being paired up romantically? And Bel, how do you feel about being topped by Fran?

Fran: …

Bel: …

Fran: Senpai, if you are so into me, you could have told me instead of pretending to be a fan and posting this.

Bel: Ishishishishi, think about it one more time and the prince will cut you into pieces. And to whom ever it may concern, I wouldn't even want to stay in the same room with that frog for ten minutes, let alone doing…that!

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

To Squalo: So mean, I would never put superglue in your hair. Still how much did it hurt to cut off your hand? And what the hell were you thinking when you did?

Squalo: To tell you the truth, I think I was drunk when I did that. But this mechanical hand is much more useful than the old one. It can slash at blind spots that a regular hand can't reach.

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

To Levi: No, no you are ugly don't argue. I have flawless logic so don't argue. And dude umbrellas are not manly at all. How did you feel when Lambo almost kicked your butt in front of boss?

Levi: I'm older thank you, I must the right! Umbrellas are very manly. They represent beauty, justice, and wealth. And at least I did not lose in the end.

Bel: Says the grownup who was fighting a five-year-old while we fought Tuna and his friends.

Levi: …Isn't it 'Tsuna'?

Bel: No, the prince is pretty sure it's 'Tuna'. The producer likes to follow the fish trend names, like Squalo's name.

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

For everyone: Anyone hates me yet?

Xanxus: You are nothing more than a mere piece of trash.

Lussuria: Now, now, boss~ Don't degrade the person who is paying us~ That's not nice~

Fran: I have no opinions.

Mammon: -counting his money-

Bel: Mammon, the prince wants to go for sushi again.

Squalo: VOIIIIIII, you may NOT braid my hair.

Levi: I hate you. You think I am ugly.

* * *

**From: Hone-Onna Killed Ren**

To everyone: When was the last time any of you sang your character song?

Squalo: …

Bel: The first and last time that Lussuria convinced us to go to a karaoke place.

Xanxus: …

Mammon: …

Levi: …

Lussuria: Oh come on guys~ It was _that_ bad~

Fran: For the records, I think Bel-senpai's song was the worst. He has the worst voice, worst lyrics, and kept singing off key. I think only that robot sang with all his heart.

Bel: Don't you start again you stupid-

Fran: Ah, my poor ears. Just hearing your voice makes them bleed. Here, have a bucket over your head. It helps you hear your voice better and makes you look a little hideous than you already are.

* * *

**From: rebornluver93**

To Xanxus: What is your favorite alcoholic drink?

Xanxus: Red wine, the ones that I've kept in my cellar for a long, long time.

* * *

**From: rebornluver93**

To Lussuria: How in the hell can you stand such damn dirty people? They are just too damn dirty. Like all of the blood being on the walls, ground, and even the ceiling done by Bel. Broken wine glass done by Xanxus and the trash that was thrown at Squalo. I bet you that their rooms are really trashy. I would die.

Lussuria: Actually, our castle is barely that messy~ I do a lot of cleaning, and each of the Varia members, besides the boss, of course, has their own chores to do. Mammon-dear's room is always spotless~ But I wonder if he really cleaned it, or if it's just illusions~ Bel-dear's room would look a lot better if he toss away some of those ripped stuffed animals sitting on the carpet~ Fran's room is probably the messiest out of all of ours~ Partly because he doesn't give a care about the Varia, and partly because Bel tries to trash his room all the time~ Kids are so playful these days!

* * *

**From: rebornluver93**

To Bel: How in the world can you think that Fran is not cute? I want to hug Fran.

Bel: Ishishishishi, if that un-cute frog considered cute, then the whole world would be movie stars (except for Levi).

Fran: Ah, it looks like I've overestimated the number of brain cells you have, Bel-senpai.

Bel: Ishishishishi, want to die?

Fran: No thank you. Not interested in starring in your newest psychodrama, Bel-senpai. To all of my fans, off my mind right now, be back in five minutes after fake prince stops PMSing.

* * *

**From: rebornluver93**

To Fran: How in the world can you think that Bel is not cool? I want to hug Bel, but I know that I would be dead.

Fran: Aside from being narcissistic, ignorant, dependent, conceited, egotistic, lazy, irritating, having anger management problems and no other comebacks except for 'because I'm a prince', he is actually okay. Actually, I take that back.

* * *

**From: rebornluver93**

To Squalo: How hard is it to train Yamamoto? I believe that he should take baseball over fighting any day. At least, he has a less chance of getting killed in baseball. How dare you not think about his safety first?

Squalo: VOIIIIIII! Training that kid is hard! He is too carefree sometimes and won't listen to what I say! As one of Vongola Tenth's core guardians, if lacked the skills to defend himself let alone the Tenth, he would be dead in minutes!

* * *

**From: rebornluver93**

Mammon: How do you say your name? Another question, how much money have you collected ever since you have started?

Mammon: MAH-men. The amount remains private. Others might come after me and try to take my money.

* * *

**From: Tateno Atsukino**

For everyone: Alright...I have question for all of you. If you can choose a job, what job would you take? (Except Mafia, KHR Actor and  
King/Prince) And why do you choose it?

Xanxus: -ignores the question-

Squalo: VOIIIIII! Definitely a sword mentor!

Bel: Ishishishishi, a prince of course.

Mammon: The asker said no king or prince, Bel. I would be a banker, and is probably going to end up taking all their money without them knowing it.

Fran: A speaker of creative arts.

Bel: In other words, a lame downright insulter, otherwise know as a smartass, ishishishishi.

Levi: A model to show the world my handsome body.

Lussuria: Oh~ So many choices~ I would choose from being a designer, baker, or hair stylist!

* * *

**From: hp23**

To Xanxus: Um yeah did you know that if you take the Xs from your name it spells anus (if you feel the urge to throw something throw it at Squalo PLEASE) and also just wondering, if you had to teach a class what would it be (either way I would still be in that class) also did you know liger were bred for their skills in magic?

Xanxus: …

Squalo: …

Xanxus: -throws a glass at Squalo's face-

Squalo: ACK!

Xanxus: A Latin teacher. Because almost no people take that class. –ignores last statement-

* * *

**From: Tsuki-No-Ouji**

To Xanxus: If Squalo allows, will you braid his hair?

Xanxus: No. I wouldn't touch that trash.

* * *

**From: Tsuki-No-Ouji**

To Bel: Where did you keep all those knives?

Bel: Ishishishishi, the prince keeps them in the dead corpses buried in his closet. Doing so gives the knives a menacing scent that intimates opponents.

Mammon: …really? –unimpressed-

Bel: No. The prince actually keeps them under his pillow and in his jacket.

* * *

**From: Tsuki-No-Ouji**

To Mammon: Why did you wear a hood?

Mammon: I wear a hood because of two reasons. First of all, Levi's ugliness blinds sensitive eyes, and that includes Lussuria, Bel, and myself. Second of all, I can pretend I am listening when I am actually asleep when having a conference with the boss. The meetings usually last for several hours.

* * *

**From: Tsuki-No-Ouji**

To Lussuria: Why do you like Ryohei so much?

Lussuria: Oh~ Who doesn't love Ryohei? He is such a good looking boy, and has a nice body too~ But I would like it so much better if he was dead~

* * *

**From: Tsuki-No-Ouji**

To Squalo: Would you let Xanxus braid your hair?

Squalo: NO! _No one _gets to braid my hair after the Bel and superglue accident! VOIIIIII! If you people keep asking, I might as well just shave my head bald!

* * *

**From: Tsuki-No-Ouji**

To Levi: How does it feel like to be UGLY?

Levi: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM _**NOT**_ UGLY!

* * *

**From: TnM aka Touya no miko**

To everyone: What if Tsuna and his guardians were born as attractive girls? In fact, what is your ideal lover?

Mammon: No one would care if they're born as girls. They'll probably be easier to beat if their emotions get in their way all the time.

Fran: Sexist much?

Lussuria: My ideal lover would be good looking, and has to be a Sun guardian~

Bel: The prince's ideal lover must not be a peasant, unlike the majority of the characters in this show.

Fran: The special person has to hate Bel-senpai, who is a complete ass.

Xanxus: Not interested in dating.

Squalo: VOIIIIII! Someone who isn't too clingy or clumsy!

Bel: The prince feels sorry for whoever that dates you. That person would be deaf five years later after marriage, ishishishishi.

Levi: Whoever loves me with all her heart, of course!

Mammon: I'm not looking for anyone right now.

* * *

**From: TnM aka Touya no miko**

To Squalo: What was it like in mafia school? Did you pick on Dino a lot when you were kids?

Squalo: VOIIIIIII! Mafia school? You mean the place where people trained us to look more mafia-like to film the show Reborn? It was horrible! It wasn't a school at all, just hell with fluorescent lightings! The food there is also disgusting, all they had were soggy french-fries and lumpy milkshakes! And I didn't know Dino until I went to Japan for the Ring battle fir the first time.

* * *

**From: Reborny**

To Xanxus: WHY DO YOU THROW GLASSES OF WHINE AT MY POOR SQUALO?? If you don't stop abusing him, I'll... *tackles him and tries to suffocate him*

Xanxus: As far as I am concerned, that piece of trash is his own person and isn't owned by anyone. –gets out his gun and shoots his attacker three times-

Lussuria: Errrr, technical difficulties here everyone~ Be back in a few minutes! –calls for an ambulance-

Levi: Meanwhile, enjoy this long documentary on Fran's life.

_Fran, whose full name is Fran and also known as 'Fran', was born in a place called Fran Street, Franland, where everyone was named Fran and were forced to name their kids 'Fran'. He had a shitty mother named Fran and a drunkard father named Fran. He also had a dog named Fran, just like every other fucking dog in Franland. _

_One day, when he was walking down Fran Street (the 2257__th__ one), he saw two stupid-looking guys in fur coats and skinny jeans. One looked like a shark with a silver wig and clothes, and the other was a blonde mop of bastardassery. The two politely asked him to join a 'fun killing club where fun and killing happens' club, and Fran politely declined. _

_This continued for a year or so until the two stupid-looking guys in fur coats and skinny jeans showed him a picture of the infamous Levi in a bikini and make him pass out due to the ugliness. _

_And then- _

Squalo: VOIIIIII! Fran, what is this?!

Fran: It's a documentary about me written by me, duh.

Bel: Ishishishishi, you wrote this?

Fran: Sorry, don't do autographs.

Lussuria: Okay~ Everything is fine now~ Our questioner just returned from the hospital~

* * *

**From: Reborny**

To Squalo: CAN I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HUG you? pleasee please please please please please plese?!? I'm your female version, I'm as loud as you and I'm your biggest fan on earth!

Squalo: NO. And I hear 'I'm your biggest fan' every. Single. Day.

* * *

**From: Reborny**

To Bel: Why are you so skinny? …Do you eat well?

Bel: Do you rather want the prince to be overly obese then? Ishishishishi, I have trouble eating the things that Squalo brings home, I don't trust whatever Levi makes, I'll never consider eating froggy's meals, and Lussuria only occasionally makes good meals to me. Sometimes Mammon takes me to restaurants to prevent me from starving, ishishishishi.

* * *

**From: Reborny**

To Fran: Are you dating M.M.? And can you slap Bel?

Fran: No. She is very annoying and treats me like a child. I am not interested in older woman, not to mention the greedy ones. As for your question, I'll be glad to.

* * *

**From: Reborny**

To Levi: I WUV YOU~ you're a cutie bear, but I don't love you as much as I love Squalo. Why do you always follow Xanxy-Baka?

Levi: As much as I am flattered by your praise, I will not tolerate any bashing of the boss around here. He is the only one I will follow, and I have dedicated my life to serve him.

* * *

**From: Reborny**

To Lussuria: Can you bake me a cake?

Lussuria: Oh of course~ After I am done with all these missions and filming and things~ It's nice to know that someone besides the Varia likes my cooking~

* * *

**From: Hone-Onna Killed Ren**

To everyone: I just realized something. Can't you guys just use Mammon's fortune?

-all Varia members' eyes turn on the former Arcobaleno-

Mammon: Fortune? Ahaha…what fortune?

Bel: The money that you collected from everything people do?

Mammon: Maybe I spent all of it on you and your craving for those five star restaurant food.

* * *

**From: REBORN!!!IS…**

For everyone: What do you guy's think of yaoi...and you can't hurt me because I'm under the H.P.N (Hibari protection network)

Levi: What's 'yaoi'? Is it some kind of new cake?

Lussuria: Oh no, dear~ It's nothing much~

Levi: What is it?

Lussuria: It's only boy plus boy pairings~

Squalo: …

Bel: …

Mammon: …

Fran: Bel-senpai, it is okay to be gay. I understand, even as an educated straight person, unlike you.

Bel: Ishishishishi, you are one step closer to death, froggy.

* * *

**From: REBORN!!!IS…**

For Bel: Have you ever thought that you should be the boss?

Bel: Ishishishishi, the prince is too lazy for that kind of responsibility. And the boss would brutally murder me for suggesting an idea like that in front of him. I value my life, so no.

* * *

**From: REBORN!!! IS…**

Mammon: If I have a hit on somebody, how much would I have to pay you? (you're a hitman right?)

Mammon: -sighs- Not interested in killing people at the moment. Go ask Prince the Ripper over there if you want to. Yes, I am a hitman.

* * *

**AN:**

Oh no! It turns out that instead of buying white bread like the good little boy he is supposed to be, Fran went off buying crack and put it in everyone's drinks! The following chapter's answers would be distorted and strange! Ask at your own risk!


	5. Set Four Crack Chapter and Bonus!

AN:

Oops, it seems like ColorlessCrayons did not mention that this is updated every _work_ day, which is Monday through Friday.

Like you had been informed last time, our very own Fran of Franstreet, Franland had smuggled some crack from his country and put it in everyone's drinks, including his own. (Whatever his reason is, you, the reader, does _not_ want to know. It will scar you more than the mental image of Levi, un-waxed, and in a particularly revealing bikini. A pink bikini.)

So, not only does the Varia members are in la-la-land, they also have hangovers, _and _is acting the way how stereotypical labels of kids in high school would act, so whatever they respond is _not _how they usually do. ColorlessCrayons also know as 'your highness', does not and will not pay for your insurance if your head explodes from this crack-filled chapter.

You may proceed, but you are warned.

* * *

**From: Kathy**

To Squalo: If your hair was red would you like it and if not what would you do to it?

Squalo: Red? Of course I would love it! –eats a potato chip while keeping his eyes on a RPG game on the computer- All the badass characters from games like Axel (Kingdom Hearts) and Reno (Final Fantasy) have red hair, and it will add on to my badassery!

* * *

**From: Kathy**

To Levi: What would you do if you are in Naruto?

Levi: Nah-roo-toh? Bwahahahahaha, I would join the Akatsuki, give the boot to all the existing members of it, and hire people like Orichimaru, Zabuza, and Choji so we can form a Sailor Moon Fan Club! (And we will cosplay as them too; it will be the most beautiful and manly thing ever!)

* * *

**From: Kathy**

To Mammon and Fran: Why do you guys have marks on your faces?

Mammon: Duuuuude, didn't you know? Like, having triangular tattoos these days are like, so sick, bro. I had them for like, a while, and then Fran over there like, copied me. It was like, so. Not. Cool.

Fran: I decline to incorporate in this insignificant dialogue, you moronic imbecile. Why don't you have some other concepts of word usage annexed in your inadequate bundle of vocabulary instead of posing there and wasting space?

Mammon: Duuuuude, chillax bro. Like, go buy a chill pill or something, man and quit being a hamster fetus.

* * *

**From: Kathy**

To everyone: If you guys were brainiacs would you be bald?

Xanxus: OH GOD, WHY IS EVERYONE SO TALL?

Squalo: Nope. –pounds on his keyboard- God damn it, don't die on me now.

Mammon: No way bro, like, you're killing me. I'd never have my head bald.

Bel: Ha, no way! My hair will never do that to me, it's radd, with a double 'd'! Plus, I dyed my hair so many times, and it's still hella soft. Hey, move over, Fran kid, you're sitting on my Gloomy Bear!

Fran: Only a simpleton would allocate their money on nugatory possessions such as your pink bear.

Bel: -blows a raspberry at Fran-

Levi: I'm too pretty to be bald!

* * *

**From: Kathy**

To Xanxus: hey if you were in an American movie as yourself who do you think ill play you and why? Don't say Zac Efron. That fugly person would ruin the movie.

Xanxus: HE IS TOO TALL!

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

To Bel & Fran: Will you two please kiss for me~? I'll pay!

Bel: No, he is not hardcore enough. And he's probably not straightedge either.

Fran: I would never kiss someone who contains a vocabulary of a mere child.

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

To Squalo: Yeah you were probably drunk, or high. Still would you please reconsider letting me braid your hair and if you won't, can I pretty please cut it all epic and short again?

Squalo: must…finish party quest…no, no?! Left! Damn it! You stupid noob!

Died again! –Turns his attention away from computer screen- No. –And back to the computer-

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

To Levi: No seriously don't try to argue, you cannot be my flawless logic, my logic is even more flawless then Bel's and Mukuro's combined. So how many times in a week to you consider committing suicide from your ugliness alone?

Levi: Ug, what the hell are you talking about? I am part of the Beautiful People for Beautiful People to Admire Club, and there's no way that I can be ugly! And Bel's logic don't make sense, and all Mukuro talks about is how to take over Tsuna's body to do whatever he wants to do, not that I want to know, and if anyone wants to consider suicide, it would be Xanxus, since he's a freshman.

Xanxus: DAMN ALL TALL PEOPLE TO HELL!

* * *

**From: Sannin-Sango**

To Bel: When you went to Namimori with Mammon during the Arcobaleno trials why did you disguise yourself as a girl?

Bel: Oh-em-gee, did you have to bring that up again? Mammon made me do it because of his 'It will be less suspicious if you dress as a girl'. I wonder if he really thought that, or just wanted to see me in girl clothes.

Mammon: You looked sick, man.

Bel: Fer sure.

* * *

**From: Crystal**

To Fran: Your documentary was so amazing! How did you put crack in everyone's drink? And are you going to do anything to Bel to get back at him while he's all drugged up from all the crack?? What do you usually do when Bel keeps saying "because I'm a prince" BS of a comeback??

Fran: I acknowledge your praise for my very distinguished piece of artwork. Crack? You must mean marihuana. I did by using my superior intelligence, unlike Belphegor, who possesses the IQ of his shoe size. I don't need to do anything; either way, Belphegor is acting like an uncivilized co-worker unit, and that is merry enough for me. When those words come out of his mouth, I retort phrases that would trigger his anger and that decreases his life span in the long run.

* * *

**From: Never Moore**

To Gay Prince: Bel, are you gay?

Bel: -hugs Gloomy Bear-

Mammon: Duuuuude, the questioner means you, bro.

Bel: -smiles innocently- Ai-dee-kay, what do you think?

* * *

**From: Never Moore**

To Lussuria: Can I hug you?

Lussuria: NO. I hate everyone and everything. You need to _die._ Everyone needs to _die._ I might as well just shove my cat in the lawn mower.

* * *

**From: Never Moore:**

To Levi: Pay for my medical bill, I'm fucking blind now. Better yet, when will you die?

Levi: Such a person like me who ages beautifully will never die!

* * *

**From: Starr-x3**

To all: If the Varia is forced to make a cake together, what would happen?

Xanxus: TOO MANY TALL PEOPLE! MUST…RUN…AWAY!

Squalo: THE CAKE IS A FUCKING LIE!

Bel: That's golden; I call dibs on the frosting!

Lussuria: Let us make a black cake to celebrate the one-year-closer-to-death-anniversary.

Mammon: Duuuuude, mellow out, man. Just enjoy the cake.

Fran: That is right, Belphegor, consume the pantry and become obese due to the calories.

Mammon: No way, like, I don't want Bel to be a barrel. Not cool.

* * *

**From: Iris-Tai**

To Fran: What was your life like while you were being trained by Nappo-chan still floating in a tank AKA Mu-kun (Mukuro).

Fran: Such personal nicknames are useless in this harsh world of terror and instability. Also, a top-secret inside information would not ever be revealed!

Bel: -until his next hella boring documentary, of course.

* * *

**From: Iris-Tai**

For Bel: I understand that your eyes are sensitive to the horrifying  
ugliness known as Levi A Than. However, is your eyes one of those types of eyes that reveals everything about a personality? (Ex. If they can be trusted, what their childhood was like, how they act know.)

Bel: -shrugs- I don't sit in the mirror and look at my eyes, but they're hella hardcore. Whoever looks at them digs them. Fran thinks they're the bomb.

Fran: Don't flatter your egotistic nature, Belphegor.

* * *

**From: Iris-Tai**

For Mammon: What id your opinion of al the Arcobaleno? Give me explanations as what you think of them, not one worded responses of "boring. Cheapo, weird."

Mammon: They were like, not cool at all, dude. They're only B.G.L., and can't skate for life. Reborn acts like a chode, like, not even funny, man. And the rest were either like, annoying, over friendly, or ignores you, like, not cool. Majorly not cool.

* * *

**From: Loves2LickOreos**

For Bel: Why are you wearing a tiara? Aren't you supposed to be wearing a crown?

Bel: Because Claire's doesn't sell crowns, only tiaras. But now that I got used to it, tiaras are pretty radd.

* * *

**From: Tateno Atsukino**

For everyone: my second question for all you guys…If you can make 3 wishes... What would it be? And…What type of woman that fit to be your wife?

Xanxus: CURSES! THOSE STUPID TALL PEOPLE! THEY'RE OVERPOPULATING!

Squalo: To kill all the noobs that are ruining the game, to pwn at every single RPG game ever existed, and to have an unlimited amount of potato chips. Woman? Someone who is good at gaming and isn't a noob.

Lussuria: I wish everyone can die. And everything die. And someone who understands me, and that someone can die too.

Bel: To have long-lasting hair dyes, a gift card to my favorite store, and every Gloomy Bear and Hello Kitty figurine ever released. Not interested in dating girls right now. –texts on his phone-

Fran: Because Belphegor is only interested in the male species.

Bel: -spits his gum on Fran-

Mammon: Duuuuude, I totally want the sheep to die, seriously, man. Not looking for marriage right now.

* * *

**From: kaitlin177**

To Xanxus: I threw you out the window in my fanfic what do you think about that?

Xanxus: YOU MUST BE A TALL PERSON!

Fran: He claims he is not a fan of defenestration.

* * *

**From: kaitlin177**

To Lussuria: Big sis~ I want to know if you would rape Ryohei.

Lussuria: I hate everyone. I do not want to have anything to do with them, let alone doing something like that.

* * *

**From: kaitlin177**

To Levi: I made Gokudera kiss Xanxus in my fanfic what do you think about that?

Levi: I'm much prettier than Xanxus.

* * *

**From: kaitlin177**

To Bel: Bel: If you had to fight with something other than knifes what would it be? Oh I love you and planning to cosplay as you at the next kawaii kon.

Bel: -pops another piece of gum in his mouth- Hmm, probably with a Gloomy Bear claw, they're so hardcore.

* * *

**From: TheCuriousReader**

To Bel: I bet you must have strung multiple people together with your wires before. What was your highest record?

Bel: Too many to count, I was trying to string them as notes for my favorite song. It didn't work though, they're as heavy as fat cows.

* * *

**From: TheCuriousReader**

To Fran: Do you actually wear a pineapple hairstyle under that froggy hat? Will you do some samba for us?

Fran: That too, is a mystery confined. No, so samba. It is an uneducated dance that does not bring benefits to the human body.

* * *

**From: TheCuriousReader**

To Mammon: Besides money, what is the most important thing for you? Why do you try to get real money when you can simply use your illusions to give yourself an endless fortune?

Mammon: Duuuuude, besides money, I like to go for some sessions with the locals. It's like, sick, man. And illusions are fake, like, I can't spend money made out of illusions until I want to donut shop coming after me.

* * *

**From: TheCuriousReader**

To Lussuria: Do you have any hidden talents? If so, will you please show us?

Lussuria: I write poems. Bel, I know you want to hear one of them.

Bel: I do?

Lussuria: Yes, yes you do. –gets out a piece of crumbled paper from his pocket-

_I hate you._

_You hate me._

_No one fucking cares about Barney._

_With a stab of hatred and a slap from everyone to you._

_Won't you just say you hate me too._

_You should die._

_Die and then die._

_Just go down to hell and stay and fry._

_With Hitler slapping your ego and a-_

Fran: Your so called masterpiece is a disgrace to all humanity.

* * *

**From: Rebornluver93**

To everyone: If you were to choose which Vongola ring you would have, which would it be? And it can't be your own ring.

Xanxus: BACK AWAY, FOUL TALL BEASTS! THE POWER OF ME COMPELLS YOU!

Bel: Nah, my ring is too hardcore to trade. But I'd like Levi to trade his for something else, since Lighting and Storm are supposed to be brothers, and he is not radd enough to be my brother.

Mammon: Duuuuude, maybe Cloud or something. Like, the Varia always needs me and don't pay me extra, like, if I get Cloud, I probably don't have to be doing missions all the time since we're fine without a Cloud.

Lussuria: Sun sucks. I would get Rain and Cloud.

Squalo: -too busy on his RPG game-

Levi: I want the Rainbow Sunshine Glitter Ring!

* * *

**From: Rebornluver93**

To everyone: What is your favorite kind of food/drinks?

Xanxus: I HAVE A CHAINSAW NOW, YOU STUPID TALL PEOPLE!

Squalo: Potato chips.

Mammon: Lemonade is good. So is chocolate, bro.

Bel: Sushi.

Fran: Sushi needs to disappear from the face of this world. According to the calculations of a famous scientist, parasites from raw meat in sushi accumulate in one's brain until they die.

Levi: I'm too pretty to have a favorite food.

Lussuria: I _hate_ tacos.

* * *

**From: Rebornluver93**

To everyone: Isn't their a time when you didn't think about killing people and yourselves? A happy time or anything.

Xanxus: DEATH TO ALL TALL PEOPLE!

Fran: Exploring the world of dictionaries is a wonderful experience.

Squalo: RPG games are the win. –abusing his keyboard-

Bel: Going to sushi places are always good things. And so is going to hardcore band concerts. Mosh pits~

Mammon: Going for sessions, man. Can't get any sicker than that.

Lussuria: I write poems. Bel, you know you want to hear another one.

Bel: No, no, I honestly don't.

* * *

**From: xwee **

To everyone: Would you ever wear nail polish/varnish? And do you like  
animals?

Fran: Belphegor already paints those toxins on his nails. And animals are not worthy of my attention.

Bel: -shows off his nails- Black is the new black! And neon places second. And animals are adorable, that's why I'm a vegetarian.

Mammon: Duuuuude, Bel, have I ever told you that one time when I ran over a cat with my board? It made a gnarly sound, man. So not cool.

Bel: -smashes his head with Gloomy Bear doll-

Lussuria: Black, and only black.

Xanxus: SHORT ANIMALS ARE FRIENDLY!

Squalo: I wish I had a dragon like this one dude in this one game that I played this one day but abandoned because the noobs are taking over. Too many hackers too.

* * *

**From: hp23**

To Xanxus: Xanxus are you...A NOBODY FROM KINGDOM OF HEARTS?! You have the x's in your name. Also, can I hug you? If not, then can I hug the life out of Fran? Also, if you weren't in the Mafia where do you think you would be. Also can I be the new cloud guardian for Varia? Please, cause I love you like a older brother who should have been the tenth boss, and is epic and has awesome-sauce glory!

Xanxus: GAH! TALL PEOPLE! MUST DUCK AND COVER!

Fran: The man says he is not from a game considering the fact that he is actually an actor and alive and not a 2-demontinal pixel character. Such affections like hugging do not benefit me in any way, thus, you may not.

Bel: Frannnn~ You hug me all the time and you never complained.

Fran: No. You must be delusional, Belphegor. I would never lay my hands on someone like yourself.

Bel: -pouts- That's not what you said last night.

Mammon: Bel…what-I, with-like, Fran? I-

Fran: Anyhow, back to the question. No, you cannot become the new Cloud guardian either, since you are a fan girl, and fan girls are not permitted to join the Varia, or any organizations or groups in a fandom very much beloved by other fan girls (and boys).

* * *

**From: hp23**

To Squalo: Are you that one dude from Final Fantasy XII? Also if I made you were a "Xanxus is my hommie" how you think he react. Also would you support peta if they were trying to save sharks, you know your box animal and everything?

Squalo: -looks up from his computer screen in shock- You knew my secret? You knew that I kept my hair long because I wanted to look like that dude from Final Fantasy XII and not because I'm oh-so-loyal to the boss? DAMN IT! –clutches his hair- _My life has been a lie! _Okay, second question, no, not really. I care more about my RPGs than sharks.

* * *

**From: hp23**

To Mammon: What can I get for a 1 dollar? Also do you do birthday party's along with Fran, and how do you feel about Fran? ARE YOU A NOBODY FROM KINGDOM OF HEARTS?! You got the robes.

Mammon: Dude, like, you can't get anywhere in life with just a dollar. So, like, it's the same with me. Come back in a few years when you're like, rich. Yeah, man, of course I do birthday parties, but not together with Fran, that dude is annoying. No, I'm pretty sure none of the actors in _Reborn_ are part of a game, we're like, real.

* * *

**From: xx xx**

Bel: We all know that your name is Belphegor (Bel), but what's your  
surname/last name?

Bel: Oh, of course, every hardcore person has to have a last name, it's-

Fran: Now we interrupt you with the newest episode of _Fran's Documentary, the One Who Was Born in Franstreet, Franland!_

_Like every Fran in Franland, Fran of Franstreet Franland was taught to be a sarcastic asshole by his parents named Fran and Fran, who, surprisingly, are also sarcastic assholes. _

_But Fran of Franstreet, Franland, was a special sarcastic asshole in the sea of sarcastic assholes, because he knew how to be more of a sarcastic asshole than the rest of the sarcastic assholes of Franland. His favorite weapon is pickup lines. They're so lame that they knock out his opponent almost instantly._

_"Hey you, you look familiar, oh yeah! You look like my next girlfriend!"_

_"If I was an enzyme, I would be a restriction enzyme, so I can cut through your genes."_

_"Coffee? No? Tea? Not that either? Me then? Ah, of course you would say yes."_

_"Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Ah, no, I don't actually want one, I just want to talk with you."_

_"Hi, I'm Fran, and I'm running for president in Franland. I could really use your vote. Here, write down your phone number and I'll call you to discuss about elections."_

_"Do you speak Franglish? Really? Me too! We have so much in common!"_

_After making every girl Frans in Franland fall heads over heels over him with his cheesy pickup lines that he looked up on Fran, the search engine in Franland, he-_

Lussuria: Fran. Phone. Now.

Fran: -picks up the phone- Hello? Oh, Mother Fran, I- What I am currently doing? No, I'm definitely _not_ displaying my ego to my horrific companions in the Varia. Oh, I am deeply sorry. Did I say 'Varia'? I meant Happy Sock Camp. Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question? No, I will certainly not say it. NO. Do you fully understand the definition of 'no', you female specie? Okay, _fine_. I love my mommy and-

Bel: Okay, next question. You do not need to hear this.

* * *

**From:** **xx**

Bel & Fran: Do you or have you ever had a girlfriend?

Bel: Oh-em-gee, all the girls I've met are either obsessed with me, too dependent, tries to be cute and failing miserably, or just plain annoying. –throws Gloomy Bear in the air and catches it-

Fran: The reason why is because Belphegor is a homosexual, and will commit suicide when he is within a five foot radius of a woman.

Bel: -narrows his eyes, not that you can actually see it- You haven't gone out with anyone either.

Fran: As you recalled from my documentary, as quoted, "After making every girl Frans in Franland fall heads over heels over him"-

Bel: All biographies lie.

* * *

**From: xx**** xx**

To Fran: Do you have any siblings?

Fran: Yes, and they are all named 'Fran'.

Bel: Here is Fran kid's diary. –opens it, despite the other's very educated protests- It says that Fran kid used to have fourteen brothers and sisters, but their country had a famine and they ate them one by one.

Fran: You are reading my holy bible upside-down. We did _not_ consume every single one, two died because of an uncalled for accident.

Bel: And I suppose that makes a big difference?

Fran: We could have had a meal for two more days.

* * *

**From: xx**

To Bel & Fran: What type of music are you into?

Bel: Techno, rock, indie, screamo, all which stuff.

Fran: Classical is the only form of music worth listening to.

* * *

**From: Reborn_Addict**

To Squalo: Why do you say 'VOI' all the time? Don't get me wrong, I think you're amazing but don't you think it's a little weird? I mean, I bet you've deafened more people than you've stabbed!

Bel: Squalo is too busy playing his lame game, so I'll answer this one. There was a secret game stimulation of the Varia released a few years ago, but no one knows it because we're so hardcore and kept it a secret. In that stimulation, Xanxus and Squalo are the parents, and Xanxus had gone deaf and kept saying 'Whut?' the whole time because he could not hear, since Squalo yells at him every single day.

* * *

**From: Reborn_Addict**

To Bel: What would happen if someone took all your knives away? Would you go into withdrawal?

Bel: -gloom- That actually happened before.

Squalo: -types on his keyboard- Yeah, this one time, Mammon was being crazy and sold all of Bel's knives for money. Bel went into depression and stayed in his room for a whole week until Mammon bought back the knives at three times the price which he sold them for, so, Mammon got all pissed, and decided Bel was the source of evil. He attack Bel when Bel was least expecting it, and lowered his HP by three fourths, and then Bel fainted and-

Bel: Wrong! I did not faint!

Squalo: Oh, right. Bel had enough MP to restore health, like the cleric class in most games. And they played a game of rock, paper, scissors to settle their score. Bel won, so Mammon had no choice but to have a time out.

* * *

**From: Kittie**

To Mammon: Hey, Mammon! I found a GREAT way for you to earn money! Why don't you borrow the 10 year bazooka from Lambo, go 15 years, and work nights? Eh?? Brilliant, no? I think you should go with Bel and Squalo, because they look like girls, too. What do you think? Work nights!

Mammon: Duuuuude, as much as I appreciate you giving me ideas to get rich, I don't work night hours, because that's the time when the Varia is actually peaceful. 'Go with Bel or Squalo'? As in date them? Eh, Squalo is like, too manly to look like a girl, unless you look at the back of his head and nothing else. And Bel, I've got competition if I try.

* * *

**AN:**

Ah, finally done. As you have noticed or have not noticed, I did not answer all of the questions sent, since it would take a long, long time for me to answer, especially the 'to everyone' questions. I have answered three or four questions for those who asked a lot, and I hope you are not angry with me for doing so. I would appreciate it if you only send three or four questions next time, and only one or two 'to everyone' questions per chapter, thank you for your support!

ALSO! Here is a bonus!

The first person to correctly guess what highschool stereotypes all the Varia members are (excluding Levi, because no one cares) gets a documentary about their favorite Varia member dedicated to them! HINT: Xanxus is NOT a midget, and Mammon is NOT a stoner. You may want to check the speech patterns of everyone in this chapter to confirm their stereotype!

Or, if you want to list one of the two song references hidden in this chapter, you may do that as well and get the same reward!

One guess per person for each category for each chapter! For example, you can guess the stereotypes and the song in one review today, and guess again tomorrow. But you cannot guess two stereotype guesses in the same day, and same thing with the songs.


End file.
